Asking a friend of a friend for a referral
How to use a warm introduction well: ask your contact to introduce you, and make it easy for them.
Quick answer: Ask your contact for an introduction first, give them a short blurb to forward and let the new person decide freely.
1 min read
A person who knows both of you can make a request far less awkward. The aim is to ask for an introduction, not for the referral itself, and to keep the effort small for everyone.
Ask your contact first
- Say who you would like to meet and why, in a sentence.
- Ask whether they are comfortable making an introduction, and accept a no gracefully.
- Do not contact the other person directly until your contact agrees.
Give them something easy to forward
Hi [name], would you be happy to introduce me to [person] at [company]? I'm interested in the [role] position there. Here's a short blurb you can forward: [two lines about you and the role]. My CV is attached. No worries at all if you'd rather not.
Once you are introduced
- Reply promptly and thank both people.
- Keep your first message short and specific to the role.
- Offer an easy way to say no.
Keep your original contact in the loop, and thank them again whatever the result. The relationship matters more than any one application.
Put it into practice
Draft your messageTry a free tool
- Referral message generator · A polite request, follow-up or thank-you you can edit and send.
- Outreach planner · List who you could ask and get a simple order to contact them in.
Guides on this site were last updated on 17 Oct 2026. This is general information, not advice for your situation.
Unfamiliar term? See the glossary.
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